that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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