yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
