How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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