I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
