you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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