Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
