alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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