Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
