found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
