Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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