marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You are a genius and a whore.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
