It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
