i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
