You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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