Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
