I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
