And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
