My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
