No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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