Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
