well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
