don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
this is an emotional support booty call
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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