Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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