hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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