You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
