I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
