So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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