There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
