There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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