so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
