what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
