Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
