Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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