Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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