So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
