The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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