i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
