I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Are my feet made of real feet?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
