Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
