he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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