no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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