I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
