My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
