you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
