i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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