I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
