He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
