i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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