Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
