Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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